A New Year. Really?

New year's resolutions. New eating plans. New goals and objectives. New rules. New gym membership. New morning routine. New attitude. New job. New enthusiasm. New relationship. A new start! Or is it?

Whether we realize or not, the new year always brings about a shift in our perspective. And it's simply due to one fact: a calendar date.

Does the universe really know what day, month, or year it is? As human beings, we are inherently "chronologically impaired": we rely on the clock and calendar to organize our lives. But time is just an illusion created (by us) in order to understand where we relate in the scheme of things. It's only our concept of time that is real.

Our perception is our reality—and we are creating our reality each moment, regardless of "what time it is."

So what does this have to do with the new year? Everything. The new year is the illusion. The choice to make changes is the reality. Sure, the new year is a trigger for change, but you can change at any time. Why wait until January 1st?

Creating change in your life may be simple, but not easy. Creating healthy habits takes effort and with change comes loss. We grieve old patterns (even if they're unhealthy), and creating new habits takes dedication and commitment. Nothing substantial happens overnight. But change is possible, and you can start whenever you want.

Here's a few tips for developing healthy habits that will stick:

• Change one thing at a time. Pick something you'd like to change. See how it works. Course correct, if needed. Choose again, but don't go back to old habits. For example, instead of reaching for soda, try a vitamin drink, low sugar juice or flavored sparkling water. If you don't like your choice, choose something else, but don't go back to soda. Think forward.
• Ease into your exercise routine. Just because you jogged 3 miles or took the 1-hour Zumba class in the past doesn't mean you can jump right back into your old routine overnight. Build back slowly. Be patient. Allow your body to readjust. If you push too hard, you will pay. Pain is not a sign that you're doing it right.
• Consciously choose your food. Stop the autopilot. Think before you bite. Look at labels. Watch portion size (most portions at restaurants are double or triple the size of what you really need). Save dessert for special occasions. Getting through your week is usually not a special occasion.
• Get the right tools before you begin. To do anything right you need the right support. For example, if you've been meaning to re-organize the hall closet, open it up and do a quick assessment of what is needed to do the job right (i.e., buy some new shelving, shoe rack, bins, etc.) before you start cleaning. A few minutes of planning can save you hours of extra work.
• Avoid projecting. When we think outside of ourselves, we project. For example, what do I look like as I'm doing (this)? What do others think of me? What are other people doing that I'm not doing? Why can't I (look, talk, act, be...) like them? Focus only on yourself. This is about you.
• Support yourself. Make a commitment to do your best, believe you are doing your best, and then do your best at whatever it is you are desiring to change. And if you fall off the wagon, get back on. Don't give up. Believe in yourself. Respect the process. And don't blame anyone else for your results. Own it. Do it. Create the change for yourself.

Remember: it doesn't take New Year's Eve to create changes in your life. Decide what areas of your life need new direction and try something new. What's the worst case scenario? You learn! The most important thing is that you tried. In the words of Wayne Gretsky, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

Take a shot, and go for the goal. 

To Your Better Balance!

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Bring in the new year by returning to the natural balance within you. Need a bit of motivation? Pick up a copy of 21 Days to Better Balance, or another book in the series, and start off 2015 by finding better balance in your career, relationships, and life!

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg is an educator, best-selling author, and certified life coach. His passion is to help people reclaim their power of choice and find better balance in their work, relationships, and life. You can follow Michael on Facebook and Twitter, or find out more at michaelsunnarborg.com

A New OCD

 

This past weekend I attended the wedding of my very dear friends, Shawn & Kathleen, in Los Angeles. After I’d arrived, Shawn asked me, “So how was your trip from Minnesota?” “Well, it was actually a bit challenging,” I replied. “First, I forgot your wedding present in the airport bathroom; then I left my phone on the plane in Phoenix; and when I arrived at LAX, I wasn’t even out of the Hertz parking lot when I got in an accident with the rental car. But other than that, I’m doing well!” As you could imagine, Shawn’s face was frozen in state of surprise, and all he could say was, “WHAAAT??”

Yes, “a bit challenging” would have been an understatement if I hadn’t been so calm. How could I be calm? Because I practiced what I affectionately call, the “New OCD”.  Allow me to explain.

With all of the distractions of our mainstream culture via social media and the explosion of technology, the clinical term OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) has become as common as ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)—words that have now entered our social vernacular. Although OCD refers to extreme activities or excessive behaviors that are based in “intrusive thoughts” that produce fear and worry, it is more serious than just a personality quirk. People with OCD often need medical and psychological help.

Our thoughts and feelings can rule (and ultimately, "ruin") our lives. The only way to transform our automatic programming—which comes from years and years of our own experiences—is to release the connections to our triggers and patterns by releasing the belief that we are the thoughts and feelings that we experience. The largest part of this process includes becoming the "observer" or our fears rather than allowing them to trigger us into unconscious, and often destructive, behaviors. There are only two responses you can have to your thoughts and feelings: resistance or allowance. When you resist something, it continues to exist. But when you learn to allow things to come up and pass through you, they will eventually fade away. In his book, The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer does an extraordinary job of explaining this. I highly recommend the book if you’re ready for real change.

So in my life, I decided to learn how to manage my thoughts and feelings in a way that felt healthy to me. Now, whenever my emotions are triggered, I think a different OCD:   

1)  Observe. Step one is to observe what's happening. Be conscious. Be awake. Pay attention to what triggers your emotions. It may be a person, a smell, or even something simple like a song, but notice your immediate reactions. What just happened? What thoughts or feelings came up? What is happening when you are suddenly feeling anger? Sadness? Confusion? Stress?

2)  Contain. Step two is to contain the situation. Hold the event as a single moment, whether it has triggered something from the past or the present (or even the future if it’s something you’re worrying about that hasn’t happened yet). Treat the event as exactly what it is. Avoid connecting it with anything or anyone else. Just hold it right there.

3)  Detach. The third and final step is to detach from the thoughts or feelings. Know that even though you are experiencing them, THEY ARE NOT YOU. Become the detached observer of the event. Through your observation, quickly notice your reaction and then stop and carefully choose your response. Resist the temptation to let the emotion take over your power of choice and send you “off and running”.  Emotions are very melodramatic. Can you stay present and not allow this energy to take you away? Can you open your heart and allow yourself to face this fear? Can you walk through it instead of avoiding it?

Some Tips:

• Time is critical. When something comes up, you need to immediately implement OCD—the sooner the better. Stay conscious. Focus. Breathe.
• Practice OCD. How does it work for you? What comes up? When do you stay focused and when is it more difficult?
• Make it a game to see if you can do it! Challenge yourself to see if you can get better at it each time something comes up.

Remember that reacting is natural, but responding is thoughtful. A deliberate response can be much healthier than a reactive one. Take the time to choose your responses wisely and see the results. With some practice, you will find that practicing OCD will allow you to move through any type of crisis quickly and seamlessly. It will take some work at first, but you will get better with time.

So what resulted from my “challenging" day? Minutes after I realized I’d lost the bag containing Shawn’s wedding present, I heard an announcement on the airport PA system, “If you are the owner of a gray Johnston & Murphy bag, it was found in the Men’s restroom and can be claimed at Gate 21”; as for my phone left on the plane, the Gate Agent was happy to go back onto the plane and find it for me so I could make my connecting flight; and the fender bender? Ah, that’s why we have insurance. I filled out an accident report and 15 minutes later I was on the 405 with my new rental car. No drama. No stress. I just breathed and practiced OCD. Worked for me. And it could work for you, too.

To Your Better Balance!

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit 21daystobetterbalance.com and learn more. And look for the new trilogy book, 21 Days, Steps & Keys... coming November 1, 2014. Get all three books in one!

Swallowing Feelings? You Might Get Fat

Carbs are bad? Carbs are good? Too much protein? Not enough? With all of the hype about eating plans and fitness fads, what do we believe? And what works?

Let's place food aside for a moment and focus on a different aspect of health—emotions. Through my years of social research, I've found one of the biggest factors contributing to body weight is emotional weight. If we don't express our feelings, our repressed emotional energy causes stress. Scientific research tells us that stress directly affects our metabolism, hormones, the ability to process calories effectively, and so on. In the end, stress causes our bodies to not functional normally and we gain weight.

The solution? Express your feelings. Stop eating your anger, pigging out on your pain, and drinking your disappointment.

Here's 5 tips to help you start a "conscious cleanse":

1. Check less bags. You know how airlines charge for each bag checked? Traveling gets expensive fast. So does emotional baggage. Take time to focus on your biggest issues and clear up unresolved issues with friends, family members or yourself. Lighten your load; enlighten your life.
2. Get em out. Whether it's with a friend or by yourself, start to speak, write, sing, dance—whatever it takes—to express your feelings. Emotions are energy, and energy is in constant motion. Nothing stands still. It's no different with your body, and those feelings need to go somewhere. First get them OUT in a healthy way. Then you can deal with them rationally.
3. Get help. There's nothing wrong with reaching out when you need support. In fact, the human experience is about connection with others. We were never meant to exist in isolation. Talk things out with a good friend. Or even better, take advantage of your health insurance and meet with a counselor—it's their job to help you unwind your ball of emotional string.
4. Move your body. Get out of bed, off the couch, or walk out of the house. Shift your energy. Negative energy feasts on idle bodies. Physical activity supports mental activity, which supports body wellness as well as psychological relief. Feeling stuck? Go for a walk. It can do wonders.
5. Don't judge. Your feelings are always valid. Always. Did you get that? Try hyphenating it for even more effect: all-ways. There is never anything wrong with any of your feelings. They are part of you and every emotion belongs somewhere. How, why, when, and where you express your feelings will produce a variety of experiences, but your feelings are never wrong. Believe in yourself.

To Your Better Balance!

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit 21daystobetterbalance.com and learn more.

Get Out of Your Own Way

Feeling frustrated? Finding yourself tripping through life? Wondering why you keep coming up against the same issues over and over again? If so, you're not alone. But did you realize that the majority of the barriers in your life are, in fact, created by you? A hard pill to swallow, but true.

Here's how it works. We are all like computers that have been programmed by our culture: the people and experiences that exist in our immediate environment. These impressions form our core beliefs systems and become hard-wired into our brains, helping to predetermine our every thought, decision, and action. In addition, our immediate thoughts are feeding into this "reality", whether it's what we want or don't want. Attention to anything brings more of the same. 

If this "programming" is working for you, then great! But if it's not, the goods news is you can change these patterns if you become aware of them.

In my writing and coaching, I introduce a three-step process. Step 1: Awareness is the opportunity to recognize this "automatic" programming by raising our awareness to the things which directly affect our sense of balance. Step 2: Alignment, is putting ourselves into alignment with the thoughts, beliefs, and people with which we feel most harmony and happiness. And Step 3: Activation, is using that knowledge to make better decisions. With a little practice, this three-step process can become second nature. Good habits nurture good results.

To create a new experience, you must create a new destination. If your desire is to make changes in your life, then you must make changes to your current environment. Your first task is to remove the challenges, barriers, habits and thoughts that are preventing the things you desire from coming in alignment with you. Basically, get out of your own way! And in the meantime, use your thoughts as a road map and your feelings as the compass, to help get you to a new place of peace, acceptance, and relief.

To your better balance!

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit 21daystobetterbalance.com and learn more.

Know Thyself

 

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
William Shakespeare

It was apparent at an early age that I was gifted with an abundance of energy, naturally extroverted, and happiest around people. It wasn’t until after college, when I moved to Hawaii, that I started exploring my true expanded self. I found balance for my exuberance by connecting with the quiet spirit within—a deeply curious side of me that was hungry for more meaning. As time went by, I realized that my life was a direct reflection of the people, places and relationships I'd developed along my path—and they all stemmed from the relationship I'd developed with myself.

To truly "know thyself" is to learn how to love and accept yourself as you are—even with the attributes you strive to improve. Being in a healthy relationship with yourself starts with the awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and intuition, and then using that knowledge to make healthy decisions that are in alignment with what you truly want.

So if our relationships are reflections of our own love and acceptance, how do we improve them? We improve the relationship with ourselves first. Try this simple test: This week, make a list of the most important people in your life, and then answer the following questions:

• How do those who love me see me differently?
• What feels true? What feels false or inauthentic?
• Where could I be more transparent with those I love and respect, and how might this change our relationship?
• What is this relationship saying about me and my choices? Is it helping me grow?

Write down your observations and ponder them throughout the week. You might find that there are parts of you that nobody even knows! You might also find that you're not living in your integrity. Think about what is really true for you, and what truly brings you happiness. You may be surprised.

When we take the time to really know ourselves—our strengths, joys, limitations, and fears—we can present ourselves to others with truth and transparency. And this significantly changes our relationships... and life.

To Your Better Balance!
Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit 21daystobetterbalance.com and learn more.

Ups & Downs Are Natural

 

Some days are just better than others. There are days we feel energized and happy, and other days we may feel low energy and more sublime. I couldn't expect myself to be blissfully happy every day, but I used to think that when I felt down or under the weather there was something wrong with me. I was under the impression that I needed feel good all the time, and it felt like that expectation created a lot of pressure in my life.

Then I started paying attention to those times where I didn't feel so great and noticed that each time I came out of a lull, I had a clearer vision and new zest for life that I didn't have before. Having those occasional "down days" serves a purpose (and here's a way to turn your ups & downs to horizontal rather than vertical).

The lulls of life are very important times: they are a time of reflection, gathering information, comparing and contrasting thoughts and feelings, and time for refreshing our perspective. Think of it like sleeping. When you sleep, your body restores and heals itself. When you wake, you usually feel refreshed and renewed. Ever had a problem, decided to "sleep on it", and felt better about it the next day? It's the same with the ups and downs of life. On those down days, we experience contrast, and from that contrast we create another new creation—often, as simple as the desire to feel better.
 
So embrace the down times. Embrace your outages. Embrace the days you don't feel so great, for it is in those days you are internally realigning yourself with what you really want. And when you start moving yourself back into alignment, better balance is near.

Life isn't about being perfect; life is about being present. Be present with all of your thoughts and feelings, for every aspect of you is important. And when you allow yourself to flow in and out of all your emotions, you will experience feelings of relief.

To Your Better Balance!

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit 21daystobetterbalance.com and learn more.
  

Power of Choice

 It is not our abilities that show
who we truly are, it is our choices.
Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter
J. K. Rowling

One of our biggest gifts is the ability to choose. In every moment we choose what to give our attention, focus, and energy—and most importantly, our responses to what is happening around us. The outcomes of our choices, in turn, create our reality. Our choices stem from our thoughts and feelings—and as Neale Donald Walsch states in his brilliant book series, Conversations with God, "Feelings are the language of the soul."

Stop and think for a moment about the connections:

• Feelings create thoughts;
• Thoughts create words;
• Words create actions;
• Actions create character;
• Character creates our life path.

 

If we are, indeed, choosing in every moment, think about what life path you are creating? Is it a story of joy, fun, and adventure, or is it a tedious tale of anger, stress, and disappointment? The power of choice allows us to create the reality we truly wish to create, regardless of what is happening around us.
 
Here’s a simple 3-step process to help you consciously activate your power of choice and begin to create a reality for yourself that contains what you truly desire:

1. Decide. Think about what you really want and begin to make choices that are in-line with those desires. Many people are on autopilot and not taking time to decide what they really want. If you continue to accept your life events "by default" then stop complaining when things consistently don't turn out the way you intended. You need to decide what brings you true joy and happiness, and then focus only on those things.

2. Declare. Start writing and talking about what you'd like and what you want to create—tell your friends and family members. Just like fire, intentions spread and grow when you start talking about them. Stating your intentions kick-starts the process of creation and gives you the momentum and passion to achieve what you want.

3. Demonstrate. I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "Fake it 'til you make it"? This action is part of becoming and moving into your reality as you create it. Demonstrating your intention by acting as if you already have what it is that you truly want puts you in line with receiving it—by thinking the thoughts of what you want, you will start feeling them, speaking them, acting them, and eventually your intentions must appear in your reality. That is the creative process.

Also, an important follow-up and a key step during the creative process is to remember to be grateful for what you already have. Gratitude is a vital part of completing the circle of creation. Be thankful and appreciate whatever it is that you do receive, for every gift is a step towards your next creation.

To Your Better Balance!

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit 21daystobetterbalance.com and learn more.

What About Abundance?

 

Last week I was coaching a client about her fears of abandonment. It felt to her that every time she became involved in a relationship, she would start recycling old fears of rejection, which would ultimately bring up her abandonment issues. Whereas the roots of her feelings of abandonment were a topic she was slowly unraveling with her therapist, she wanted to pair her therapy work with coaching advice for moving forward with her life as she continued down the path of healing.

Abandonment and rejection are both based in lack. When there is any feeling of "lack" in our experience—lack of money, time, or even love—it simply means we're choosing to believe there is not enough. Feelings of lack are the opposite of feelings of abundance. If you believe in abundance, there is always enough—enough money, enough time, enough love. Believing in abundance means you will always have all that you need regardless of how you will get it, including being loved in relationships. A fear of lack translates to, "There is not enough, They are not enough," or "I am not enough." A spirit of abundance says, "There is always enough, They are enough," and "I am enough." If someone in your life cannot give you the love you need, someone else can. There is always enough love.

For my client, the awareness of what she was focusing on could either propel her into more of the same feelings of lack, or by becoming aware of this pattern she could reframe her belief to one of "always enough." Her relationship was bringing her the opportunity to face her old beliefs and re-examine their validity. Are these fears still true? Are these beliefs helping or hurting her?

What do you want in your life—a fear-based belief that says, "There is not enough," or an abundance-based belief that says, "There is always enough?" Remember: It's always your choice.

To Your Better Balance!

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg
Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit 21daystobetterbalance.com and learn more.

Spring Cleaning Your Life

As we do each season, my friend Shawn and I were reflecting last week on the change into Spring. Even though Minnesota just had a late winter blast of 8 inches of snow on Friday (oi!), the temperature has since shot back up and the snow is finally melting. On behalf of the rest of Minnesota, can I just say, "Whew!"

As hearty Minnesotans and others from the Midwestern states begin emerging from their caves of winter hibernation, Spring cleaning begins. Not only is Spring a time to clean the house, the garage, and rid those old dusty closets and of their clutter, but Spring is also a good time to clean-up your personal life and reduce the emotional "clutter".

"Emotional clutter?" you ask. Yep. Just like old clothes and unused shoes, old unresolved feelings of anger, jealousy, pain, or any other emotions can linger around, collect dust, and take up valuable space in our lives. Stale thoughts and worn out beliefs can weigh us down and impede our ability to make healthy decisions

"Okay okay," you say. "I'm starting to follow your analogy. But how do I 'Spring clean' my life?" Start by thinking two simple things:

1) What is working. Whatever is "working" in your life are those aspects (thoughts, feelings, beliefs, relationships) that are serving you—they are in alignment with who you are. Actions and changes made in these areas will have powerful effects on your well-being

2) What is not working. Whatever aspects are "not working" in your life are giving you information about where to place your focus and make changes, or clean it up.

Regardless of the time of year, is it time to Spring clean areas of your life? I think you'll find that with focus, patience, and courage, Spring cleaning can be a time of powerful change resulting in feelings of relief, happiness, joy, contentment, and better balance. It's your choice!

To Better Balance,

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit 21daystobetterbalance.com and learn more.

Nourish Your Spirit

We need silence to be able to touch souls. 
Mother Theresa

Each of us is a tri-part being comprised of a mind, body, and spirit. The voice of our mind is our thoughts; our bodies gives us feedback in the form of feelings; and our intuition is the language of our spirit—our connection to God, Source Energy, Creator, the Universe, or whichever name you use to describe the power that connects us all. With practice we can become aware of our thoughts and feelings, but our intuition is quiet and often difficult to hear. Getting in touch with our intuition can be achieved by using silence to create a space for our intuitive voice to be heard.

Silence is like a spiritual retreat or a healing center—a place where we can go to be alone and reconnect with ourselves. While traditional counseling is healing for the mind and physical therapy is healing for the body, silence is healing for the spirit.

You can create a space for silence by simply unplugging from the world and turning down the noise. Technology provides us with powerful means for connecting with others, but the point of silence is to connect with yourself. At first it may seem like you are missing out, but unplugging for periods of time will raise your frequency—and over time, can significantly strengthen and enrich your personal connections. When we lower the volume on the outside of our lives, we raise the volume on the inside. In silence we can discover the true benefits of being still and listening to the calm rhythm within.

This week, spend some time in silence and notice the benefits. Silence can be achieved by doing something as simple as taking a walk by yourself after lunch, or by just closing your eyes for 5 minutes during an afternoon break. By practicing a little bit of silence each day, you can learn to appreciate the value of stillness; and taking time to nourish your spirit will always bring more balance to your mind and body.

To Better Balance!

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit 21daystobetterbalance.com and learn more.

Declutter Your Mind

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent.
It takes a touch of genius—and a lot of courage—to move in the opposite direction.
Albert Einstein

Whether it's due to the expansion of technology or the plethora of choices that we face each day, our ability to filter information and stay focused is a constant challenge. You have the potential to make healthy choices and balance your priorities no matter where you are on your life journey. However, change doesn't come easily—it takes courage, dedication, and commitment. Lasting change comes in small steps. Each step evolves into a new habit, and over time, healthy habits become major life changes.

When you find that your mind is becoming cluttered with too many thoughts, try a quick and easy exercise called "Brain Drain." Begin by taking out a piece of paper and pen (or start an electronic page), and set an alarm for fifteen minutes. Write down everything that is currently going on in your mind. You can write about anything—your feelings about work, what to do for Mom's birthday, how to pay off that student loan faster—whatever thoughts are swirling through your head at the moment. No rules, no requirements. When fifteen minutes are over, stop writing. Take notice of how you feel. Relieved? Less stressed?

The goal of this exercise is to "drain your brain" of the chatter that prevents you from sifting through your thoughts and feelings. The act of writing allows us to release energy onto the page instead of allowing it to occupy valuable space needed for creativity and focus (think of increasing your personal RAM). Try using Brain Drain first thing in the morning—it can help to clear your palate for the day. If you want to make some serious progress, increase your time to 30 minutes and use Brain Drain every morning for a week. Notice if your ability to focus improves as you declutter your mind. With new space released, new creative ideas can begin bubbling to the surface.

Be Balanced!

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit 21daystobetterbalance.com and learn more.

The Nudge

 We are not human beings on a spiritual journey.
We are spiritual beings on a human journey.
Stephen R. Covey

Something I learned early-on in my healing work was to give my thoughts, feelings, and intuition a "voice"—a way for me to better understand my mind, body, and spirit. We all have the ability to perceive information via our senses, and information is constantly being filtered and transmitted through our thoughts, feelings, and intuition. Often, we put words to our thoughts and feelings and experience them as a voice within. But what do we hear?
 
Usually the loudest voice—our Mind—is busy analyzing information and making conclusions. Simultaneously, our Body is translating all the visual, audio, and tactile stimuli of our busy world and giving us feedback through the voice our feelings. Logic and emotion—the constant balance between head and heart. But while our minds and bodies are "doing", our spirits are just "being". In fact, our Spirit is working with the power of our intentions—consciously and subconsciously—and the voice of Spirit is always coming from a place that knows what we really want, versus what our minds and bodies think we want.

The quiet voice of Spirit gives us little nudges and leaves us with that “tingly” feeling in the pit of our stomach. The nudge may come in forms such as, “I should hold this door open for that next person,” or “I can spare some change for the woman ahead of me in line at the store.” Spirit never asks from us more than we can give at a given moment. Spirit knows our boundaries. In fact, Spirit lets us exercise our healthy boundaries and create new ones, while our Mind may have us thinking in old patterns or behavior and repeating the same mistakes. Been there, done that!

So if you pay attention to those nudges, you will get closer to tapping your natural intuition. In fact, if you get quiet and really listen, you will start to hear the calm rhythm within. And once you start accessing your Spirit, you can bring your thoughts and feelings into better alignment with intuition, and activate that knowledge to create better balance in your life—awareness, alignment, activation: the balance formula is complete.

How can you be quiet and listen to the intuitive voice within you this week?

Be Balanced!

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit 21daystobetterbalance.com to learn more.

Moving Into Alignment

 If you are attuned to your inner guidance,
there is no way you can become severely out
of balance with your natural environment.
Shakti Gawain

Have you noticed know how some days just feel better than others? How about how some people seem to emit better "vibes" than others? Our feelings are feeding us information, and feelings of balance can be most easily experienced through our feelings of alignment. After exploring Awareness, Alignment is the second part of finding better balance in your life.

Alignment happens both on the inside and outside of us. Alignment means that our thoughts, beliefs, and intentions are aligned with our deepest truth and best understanding of our purpose in the world. Internally, this means that we strive to be conscious of our thoughts, feelings, and intuition so that our behaviors reflect our true values. Externally, this means that over time, we bring our attitudes, actions, and words closer and closer to our fundamental beliefs. Alignment also comes through our relationships with others. As we move in and out of alignment with our deepest selves, our relationships directly reflect our present state of balance—relationships are mirrors.

This week, think about someone in your life who challenges you—a friend, family member, co-worker, boss—someone who is driving you crazy, or someone with whom you just don’t get along. Now put that person in your mind’s eye, and begin to think of something—anything—that you genuinely appreciate about them. Even if it takes a while, come up with a list of at least three things. There’s buried treasure in there somewhere! Focus on those things the next time you speak with that person, and notice how this simple act of unspoken appreciation brings them into better alignment with you.

This second step of moving into alignment helped me reconnect with my natural state of balance and reminded me that whether it's my own sense of equilibrium or the alignment I feel with others, the power to change my life is always in my hands.

Namaste,

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit 21daystobetterbalance.com to learn more! 

Soften Your Stance

Excerpt from 21 Steps to Better Relationships, Step 19: Soften Your Stance

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex,
and more violent. It takes a touch of genius—and a lot
 of courage—to move in the opposite direction.
Albert Einstein

We are all gifted with powerful thoughts, feelings, and intuition. Taking time to listen to our intuition and choose responses to our thoughts and feelings wisely will increase our chances of experiencing harmonious interactions. To soften your stance is to step back from your natural impulse to speak or act with power and force and either choose a gentler response or none at all. Sometimes nothing is the best thing to say and often the best thing to do.

When we soften our stance, we become aware of the impact we have on those around us and learn to respond in appropriate and effective ways. Even when we are very passionate about something—which can create more intensity and enthusiasm—we can consciously choose to pause, breathe, and think before speaking or acting. By calming ourselves and resting in our perspective, we can choose how to respond to our thoughts and feelings with calm confidence.

Our interactions with others provide the best opportunities for us to learn about ourselves. Through observation and feedback, we can learn how to soften our stance and pay attention to our approach. We can learn to discern between impulse and intuition, see the bigger picture, and consider our options before our actions.

Soften your stance to give yourself and others more room to connect fully.

Heidi is a well-respected and powerful senior manager of a Fortune 500 corporation. She has risen to the top of every team she’s managed and is known to speak her mind when action is needed. Since she is a natural problem solver, people come to Heidi for solutions. Over the years, however, Heidi began to feel overwhelmed, and her relationships with co-workers and supervisors became difficult and stressed.

When Heidi learned she could soften her stance, she had a personal epiphany. Her natural inclination was to be vocal and outspoken, but she realized that she didn’t always need to share her thinking. Heidi realized she could pick and choose where and when to focus her energy. When she committed to not doing and saying her first impulse, others around her were able to step up. Within a month, Heidi's blood pressure went down, her happiness went up, and her relationships improved. Heidi discovered a new type of personal power.

Questions:

·       In which areas of your relationships could you benefit from learning to soften your stance?

·       In what ways might softening your stance change your connections with others?

Call to Action: Get More Flies With Honey

Tired of pushing your pitch? Remember that we learn the most by sharing ideas through collaboration rather than collision. This week, pay attention to the next time you’re asked to take action or you’re trying to get your point across. Pause, think, and try softening your stance. Notice how it shifts your energy and the energy between you and others.

Find links to the books and eBooks of "21 Steps to Better Relationships" beginning August 15, 2012, at 21stepstorelationships.com

Namaste,

The Ambassador of Goodwill
  

Foresight is 20/20

 

You've probably used the phrase "Hindsight is 20/20" at some point in your life to describe the fact that it's easy to be wise about an event after it has happened. But have you ever felt a wisdom about an event before it has happened? Have you gotten "the nudge" that something did or didn't feel right? What did you do, or not do?

While we hope to learn our lessons from past events or circumstances that didn't turn out the way we expected or left a negative impression on us, we generally don't try to repeat the same mistakes on purpose (though some old habits do, indeed, die hard)—but lessons learned equates to wisdom gained. With our experiences we have the ability to make new and better choices in the future. But what is that prompt? That nudge? It's our intuition—that little voice inside which says it knows what's best for us.

Intuition is the language of our spirit—a connection to God, Source Energy, Creator, the Divine, the Universe, or whichever name you use to describe a power greater than any one of us. The voice of our intuition is quiet and often difficult to hear. We can become aware of our intuition by taking the time to listen to our thoughts, acknowledge our feelings, and create a space for our intuitive voice to be heard.

Think of intuition like a compass. If we are hiking and need direction, a compass gives us feedback about our current position in relationship to North. With this knowledge, we can reset our course with confidence and return to our journey. Our intuition is like a spiritual compass and will always point to our inner truth—our True North.

Take time this week to get in touch with the quiet voice of your intuition. As you begin to add intuition to your thoughts and feelings you will come into better balance and alignment with yourself—and you'll start to realize the role intuition plays in your daily decisions.

Harness the power of your thoughts, feelings, and intuition. Then use that power to see your choices more clearly, and experience that foresight can also be 20/20.

Namaste,

The Ambassador

Start off spring by "spring cleaning" within! Read more about your intuition in 21 Days to Better Balance and put yourself back into alignment. Now also available on Amazon.com and Smashwords.com.  

3 Steps To Better Balance

Finding better balance? Really? Where? I thought if I work hard enough I will arrive at a state where my life is in harmony with my desires, right?

Almost. In actuality, finding better balance is a process of returning to a natural state within us. We are born in a state of equilibrium: the mind, body, and spirit have been designed to work in harmony. It's just that as we grow, we absorb the fear of the world and begin to lose our alignment—our 'centered'ness—which contributes to our feelings of being out of balance.

So how do we return to a state of better balance? By removing the barriers to balance within us, many of them created by our own thoughts and behaviors. As I started writing about balance over 15 years ago I knew there must be a way to break old patterns and return to a healthier balanced state. In my book 21 Days to Better Balance, I highlight several of the ways I’ve found that have had the largest impact on my balance. Sometimes the best teacher is our own experience.

Much like eating a meal a bite-at-a-time, the book is portioned into 21 themes, each designed to bring you back into better balance with your mind (thoughts); body (feelings); and spirit (intuition). The themes are divided into a three-step process. Here is a quick review the 3 steps and the accompanying themes:

1) Awareness

Our powerful consciousness is absorbing and processing everything in our environment—sights, sounds, and smells—whether we realize it or not. In order to find better balance in our lives, we must first become aware of the factors that influence our balance.
Themes: Thoughts, Feelings, Intuition, Frequency, Fear, Time, Flow

2) Alignment

Alignment happens both on the inside and outside of us. Alignment means that our thoughts, beliefs, and intentions are aligned with our deepest truths. Internally, this means that we strive to be conscious of our thoughts, feelings, and intuition so that our behaviors reflect our true values. Externally, this means that over time, we bring our attitudes, actions, and words closer to our fundamental beliefs.
Themes: The Body, Relationships, Silence, Truth, Intention, Purpose, Abundance 

3) Activation

Activation puts theory into practice and ideas into motion. Without activation, good ideas are only ideas. Activation is the key to implementation and the third step to finding better balance.
Themes: Choice, Boundaries, Perspective, Focus, Empathy, Allowing, Gratitude

The mind, body, and spirit were designed to work in harmony and unity with one another. My hope is that the personal observations, insights, and analogies that I’ve used to find better balance in my life will help you find better balance in yours. After all, what good is wisdom if we don't pass it on?

Interested? Find the book and eBook here.

Namaste,

The Ambassador of Goodwill