Monday, October 21, 2013

Step 2: Communication

Awareness of effective communication is
vital for creating healthy relationships.

Donna and Kevin have been married for a year. The last time Kevin went out for a few beers with his friends, Donna blew up at him when he got home and angrily said that he’s happy to go out with his friends, but he won’t go out with her.

One evening last week, Kevin told Donna he needed to stay and work late. In reality, Kevin lied. Instead of working late, he was out with his friends again. Donna found out and was furious.

When Donna and Kevin sat down to talk about it, Kevin said that he was afraid to tell her that his time with friends is still very important to him. Donna said that she’s happy that he is close to his friends, but that she thinks his time with his friends is cutting into the time they spend together. In the end, they decided to schedule a "date night" each week so they could go out with friends or on their own. They also agreed to make sure they were socializing as much with each other as they are separately. They found a peaceful compromise by communicating openly and honestly with each other.

Pay attention to the next time your emotions are triggered during a conversation. What was said? What emotions were triggered? How can you avoid an emotional collision? Take a moment to pause, acknowledge your feelings, and think carefully about how to respond. Ask questions for clarification and be willing to investigate your feelings. Notice what’s different when you come from a place of thoughtful response, and see how this changes the landscape of the conversation.

To your best balanced life!

The Ambassador of Goodwill

This is an except from 21 Steps to Better Relationships. Find the rest of the message for this step and other steps at:

Monday, October 7, 2013

Step 20: Go With the Flow


 Choosing to change allows you
to accept the world outside of you.

Doug was laid off from a company where he'd been working for over ten years. Although the news was a shock to him, his first thought was how he was going to tell his fiancé. Doug and Amy had been saving their money for the past two years so they could get married. But now he wasn't sure of anything. He felt like the whole world had stopped. He couldn't imagine what he was going to do next.

That evening, Doug and Amy sat down to discuss the situation. While Amy listened, Doug expressed his anger and disappointment about losing his job, and his fear about what was going to happen next. Amy shared a different perspective with him. "Do you realize this is an opportunity for something new?" she said. Over the next few days Doug realized he did, indeed, have many options. He decided to take things step by step and look at this change as a positive opportunity for new direction and growth. In time, Doug was able to find a new job that he loved which paid more than his last job. He learned that change can, indeed, be something to appreciate and not to fear.

Where are you resisting change? How would it be different if you accepted it, or even encouraged or facilitated it? This week, try changing something about your routine that you have been resisting. Notice how the new relationship with yourself affects your relationships with others.

To your best balanced life!

The Ambassador of Goodwill

This is an except from 21 Keys to Work/Life Balance. Find the rest of the message for this key and other keys for finding better work/life balance at: