Monday, October 24, 2011

You Are What You Believe

According to my favorite web site,, a paradigm is, "An example serving as a model or a pattern". Our world is filled with many types of paradigms: social, cultural, and most importantly, personal, and these paradigms become the framework and filters through which we experience the world. Our personal paradigms form the foundations for our belief systems and whether we realize it or not we live our lives according to the paradigms we've created or subscribed to.

As a lifelong learner and seeker of my own interpretation of truth I often seek to challenge the paradigms I'm currently experiencing whether they are mine or others. Why? Because I can. In my willingness to resist the status quo and seek out my own answers and meaning behind the pre-existing structures and beliefs in my world, I exercise my ability to explore options and "buck" the traditional system... and to experience being truly present. To be willing to challenge what I "know" in lieu of potentially discovering something new about myself keeps me learning. And if I'm learning, I'm having fun.

As Leonardo da Vinci expressed, "Everything connects to everything else." If my belief systems are, indeed, connected to my experience, then paying attention to the results of my experience will allow me to decide whether changes in my beliefs are necessary. According to the Teachings of Abraham, "a belief is only a thought you keep thinking." If a belief no longer serves me I can choose a new thought--create a new belief. This is part of gift of choice and the power to create ourselves. After all, "Life isn't about finding yourself; life is about creating yourself." (George Bernard Shaw). You can read more about Abraham from Esther and Jerry Hicks, authors of the Law of Attraction.

So what does this all mean? To me it means I have the power to choose and change my paradigms. Challenging our paradigms is just one example of taking control of our lives and allowing ourselves to play larger--to step further into our potential. If you are not happy with the results your life is showing you, choose again! Connect with your mind, body and spirit; align your thoughts, feelings and intuition; and activate your power of choice and begin to truly bring more balance to your life. It's your choice.

Welcome Autumn!

The Ambassador

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Our Mind: Teacher, Creature, or Companion?

"It's mind over matter." "Do you mind?" "Make up your mind!" "Oh, never mind..." Just think about how frequently the "mind" enters our daily conversations. Our minds are an integral part of our three-part being: Mind, Body and Spirit. We often associate mind with our head, thought, and logic. But despite the form in which we imagine our minds to take, let's take a closer look at a few of the different roles our minds play. Do you mind...?

Our mind is an amazing and complex Teacher. It re-minds us when we’ve forgotten facts or figures and helps us through a challenging intellectual conundrum—whether it’s an academic test or the birthday of a family member. Our mind as a teacher causes us to think carefully when we need to make a decision, and uses our previous experiences as a references in order to make what we consider "sound" decisions. It keeps a record of everything we’ve ever thought, said, and done, giving us the gift of contrast (“been there; done that”). It sends us signals that something might be awry and we need to pay attention to it. It is the reflective and supportive adviser—helping us weigh the pros and cons from changing our internet service provider to changing our views about the importance of diet and exercise. Our mind as a teacher is with us every day, every hour, every minute, and doesn’t like to be shut off. But once in a while it will allow us to be out of it—maybe for a minute, an hour, or a day—and then when we reunite it feels like "plugging in" and booting-up to the world again. No bad; just predictable. 

Our mind is an amazing and complex Creature. It creeps around and waits for the opportunity to jump out and scare us, or sneak over and steal the cookie off our plate
when we’re not looking. Our mind as a creature walks around with a mirror and tries to make us look into it so it can tease and ridicule us about our appearance, our attitudes, or our behaviors. It is the constant critic carrying around a big fat history book of every mistake we’ve ever made, said, and done—and it takes our ideas, words, and actions, twists them, misinterprets them, and uses them against us like a court of law where we are guilty until proven innocent. It has a pocket voice recorder and plays back every negative word that every person has said to us that stick like those little thorn bristles we get on our socks when we run through a dry field (damn things are always hard to pull off and they poke you—ouch!) Our mind as a creature keeps us up at night, wakes us up with a headache in the morning, and won’t stop running. And we’re tired of chasing it. Sometimes we’d rather be without it. It controls our manners when we’ve been scolded and is told to "never mind” when something has been disregarded. It makes us feel crazy and out of control. It causes us to spiral downward. It can bring us down to circling the drain.

Our mind is an amazing and complex Companion. It is there when we need to remember where we parked the car in the parking lot or re-minds us who we really are when we forget. It’s there to provide a history of everything we’ve ever thought, said, and done, and re-minds us about our progress and how far we’ve come. Our mind as a companion plays back the recordings of anyone who’s ever thanked us, praised us, or shouted our name as we raced toward the finish line. It allows us to take a moment to pause and reflect upon a fond memory triggered by a beautiful song or the smell of fresh-baked cookies. It’s there to help us stay calm amidst a crisis or speak a kind word to a friend in need. It is our constant friend, confidant, and partner. And it always answers when we call. Our mind as a companion is there to motivate, encourage, and inspire us, and becomes the coach encouraging us to "hang in there" and just keep swimming. It reminds us that it’s okay to make mistakes, and it forgives us every time—no exception. It loves and accepts us as we are. It is our best friend and our family. It holds us when we are alone and reminds us that everything will be okay.

Question: Is your mind the Teacher, Creature, or Companion today? Depending on the situation it could be one, two, or all three... but the most important fact is that it’s your choice. We are not a product of our minds; our minds are a creation of us. And we have been given the power to choose how our minds work for and with us. When our minds are working for us in positive and supportive ways, we better connect with our bodies and spirits to bring more alignment and consistency to our lives—and that’s the key to finding more balance. Reconnect with yourself and reconnect with your power.

This week, become aware of your thoughts and remember you have the power of choice. Then choose wisely… for it is, truly, “all in your mind”.


The Ambassador of Goodwill

Friday, October 7, 2011

5 Relationship Myths

Relationships are an essential part of our lives. Through our relationships we learn to heal, grow, and find the reflections of our best selves in those around us. But there are also some common beliefs about relationships that get us hung up, so let's take a moment to explore a few of the biggest myths about relationships. My hope is that you will see your relationships in a new light and remember that you are, indeed, creating your life experience.

1. There is only one person for you—one love.

If this was true then you would still be with your second grade crush! This is one of the greatest myths and the one that causes so many relationships to turn bitter, ugly and sour, or in the worst case scenario keeps people together when they are miserable. 

In reality, we don’t only get “one” person, we choose the person to be with in our life when that relationship is the most loving, fulfilling, and purposeful. Life is in constant motion, and since life is constantly changing, we also change. In relationships we change individually and we also can change together—in so, we make a choice. We can continue to choose the same person over and over again, but we are not obligated to stay in any relationship that’s not adding to our growth. Healthy relationships are always based in freedom, not obligation. If your relationship is starting to crack, look at where you need to be more flexible, loving, and understanding. Communication is the key here. Listen to one another, ask for what you need, be respectful, and always keep both of your best interests in mind. Relationships are, indeed, a two-way street!

2. "I’ve had a tough life, and a relationship will help heal my wounds."

Good luck with that! While it is true that our relationships will bring up everything in our life that is unhealed or broken about us (emotionally or spiritually), you do not want to use your relationship/partner to heal you—that is something you need to do for yourself. If you rely on your partner to fix you, you’ve not taken responsibility for yourself and when our happiness relies on someone else we cannot ever be truly happy. Happiness begins within.

3. Being in a relationship is better than being alone.

Not if it’s a bad relationship! Remember: relationships are vehicles for us to connect with another like mind and spirit in order to understand more about ourselves—to explore our potential for more love. If you are using a relationship to mask loneliness (which is based in fear, not love) your relationship may allow you to temporarily forget your loneliness, but loneliness will still be there. Being in relationship with yourself and happy with yourself reduces loneliness. Also, by staying involved in a relationship that's not helping you grow you cannot attract a healthy relationship—you already have that vacancy filled. Only when you have created the space for something healthy can it step into your life.

4. In relationships, opposites attract.

Opposite personalities may attract at first, but they rarely sustain. Having a range of different qualities and interests can certainly be appealing, especially when first meeting someone, but in the long run you will need to find more common ground on which to walk together. Use your differences to teach one another more about aspects of yourself you have yet to explore, and use your relationship to mutually help each other grow. Focus on your differences as strengths, and whether you agree or not always be respectful.

5. "I’ve tried being in relationships, but I always seem to mess things up."

We will get what we intend. When looking at past relationships, examine why you went into the relationship in the first place. To fill a void in your life? Take the place of something you didn't have? Find someone to take care of? 

Entering a relationship out of "lack" will just bring more of it. Develop a relationship with yourself before going into a relationship with another. If you're already in a relationship and need to find more balance, take time out for yourself—find peace with yourself, your past, and your decisions. If you believe that you will “mess up” a relationship, your beliefs will automatically program your attitudes, actions and words into sabotage mode and, in time, the relationship will, indeed, fail—it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Set your course for success! Believe that you deserve and will have positive, loving relationships.

As we enter into this fall—this time of transition—choose to create healthy and happy relationships in your life. After all, it's your choice.


The Ambassador of Goodwill