Monday, August 18, 2014

Get Out of Your Own Way

Feeling frustrated? Finding yourself tripping through life? Wondering why you keep coming up against the same issues over and over again? If so, you're not alone. But did you realize that the majority of the barriers in your life are, in fact, created by you? A hard pill to swallow, but true.

Here's how it works. We are all like computers that have been programmed by our culture: the people and experiences that exist in our immediate environment. These impressions form our core beliefs systems and become hard-wired into our brains, helping to predetermine our every thought, decision, and action. In addition, our immediate thoughts are feeding into this "reality", whether it's what we want or don't want. Attention to anything brings more of the same. 

If this "programming" is working for you, then great! But if it's not, the goods news is you can change these patterns if you become aware of them.

In my writing and coaching, I introduce a three-step process. Step 1: Awareness is the opportunity to recognize this "automatic" programming by raising our awareness to the things which directly affect our sense of balance. Step 2: Alignment, is putting ourselves into alignment with the thoughts, beliefs, and people with which we feel most harmony and happiness. And Step 3: Activation, is using that knowledge to make better decisions. With a little practice, this three-step process can become second nature. Good habits nurture good results.

To create a new experience, you must create a new destination. If your desire is to make changes in your life, then you must make changes to your current environment. Your first task is to remove the challenges, barriers, habits and thoughts that are preventing the things you desire from coming in alignment with you. Basically, get out of your own way! And in the meantime, use your thoughts as a road map and your feelings as the compass, to help get you to a new place of peace, acceptance, and relief.

To your better balance!

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit and learn more.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Know Thyself


This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

William Shakespeare

It was apparent at an early age that I was gifted with an abundance of energy, naturally extroverted, and happiest around people. It wasn’t until after college, when I moved to Hawaii, that I started exploring my true expanded self. I found balance for my exuberance by connecting with the quiet spirit within—a deeply curious side of me that was hungry for more meaning. As time went by, I realized that my life was a direct reflection of the people, places and relationships I'd developed along my path—and they all stemmed from the relationship I'd developed with myself.

To truly "know thyself" is to learn how to love and accept yourself as you are—even with the attributes you strive to improve. Being in a healthy relationship with yourself starts with the awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and intuition, and then using that knowledge to make healthy decisions that are in alignment with what you truly want.

So if our relationships are reflections of our own love and acceptance, how do we improve them? We improve the relationship with ourselves first. Try this simple test: This week, make a list of the most important people in your life, and then answer the following questions:
  • How do those who love me see me differently?
  • What feels true? What feels false or inauthentic?
  • Where could I be more transparent with those I love and respect, and how might this change our relationship?
  • What is this relationship saying about me and my choices? Is it helping me grow?

Write down your observations and ponder them throughout the week. You might find that there are parts of you that nobody even knows! You might also find that you're not living in your integrity. Think about what is really true for you, and what truly brings you happiness. You may be surprised.

When we take the time to really know ourselves—our strengths, joys, limitations, and fears—we can present ourselves to others with truth and transparency. And this significantly changes our relationships... and life.

To Your Better Balance!
Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit and learn more.