The Universal Mirror

Mirror [mir-er] Noun. A reflecting surface, originally of polished metal but now usually of glass with a silvery, metallic, or amalgam backing (dictionary.com)

Mirrors are a part of our daily lives. Mirrors reflect visual data back to us, giving us more information. A plane (flat) mirror not only allows us to view what is behind us, but provides a virtual opposite of what we are perceiving before us. We have learned to accept the information from mirrors as valid and trustworthy.

Likewise, our lives are also mirrors. The energy we are putting out into the world is being reflected back to us much like a mirror. And it all starts with our thoughts.

Thoughts contain energy. We are all energetic beings emitting an energetic frequency—or a vibration—just like a radio station broadcasting music. Whatever "music" we are playing, people "hear". Meaning, whatever vibe we are emitting creates our emotional state of being. Have you ever noticed when someone is having a good day or a bad day? You might pick it up through their attitudes, actions, or words. You can feel it in their "vibe".

The response to the energy we're putting out is reflected back to us in all areas of our lives through circumstances, events, and occurrences. That is the way our energetic Universe works.

Why is this important? Because once you understand this principle, you realize that you are the creator of your experience. When you focus on things you don't want or like, you will experience more of them in response to the vibration you are offering. Conversely, if you focus on things that you do want or like, you will experience more of those things.

So what if you are experiencing an abundance of things you do not want in your life, how do you change your broadcast? According to Alfred Einstein, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” We simply cannot continue in the same chronic pattern of thought and create different results. The powerful Universe is responding to whatever we are thinking and focusing on regardless of what it is. THAT is the creative process.

To change your broadcast you need to change your mind. Every event is an opportunity—a point in time for us to make a choice. We choose how we feel about something in every moment, and we have the choice about what to believe. When we start acting in mindful, thoughtful ways, we can respond to anything with informed, intelligent, and response-able actions.

What are you creating? How are you responding to what is happening around you? Are you paying attention to what is being reflected back to you?

This week, pay attention to what you are broadcasting and what information you are receiving in response. Then try "changing your tune" and see what is reflected back to you. The mirror never lies!

To Your Better Balance,

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg is an educator, best-selling author, and certified life coach. His passion is to help people reclaim their power of choice and find better balance in their work, relationships, and life. You can follow Michael on Facebook and Twitter, or find out more at michaelsunnarborg.com

Need some inspiration? Pick up a copy of 21 Days, Steps & Keys, or one of the other books in the balance series, and start off 2015 by finding better balance in your career, relationships, and life.

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Photo courtesy of www.glassworksaiken.com

The Nudge

 We are not human beings on a spiritual journey.
We are spiritual beings on a human journey.
Stephen R. Covey

Ever get a "nudge" to do or say something? 

Something I learned early-on in my writing and coaching work was to give my thoughts, feelings, and intuition a voice—a way to better understand the language of my mind, body, and spirit. We all perceive information through our senses and this information is being filtered and translated into our thoughts, feelings, and intuition. We can use our words to describe how we're thinking or feeling, but how do those internal voices work?
 
Usually the loudest voice—our Mind—is busy analyzing information and making conclusions. Simultaneously, our Body is translating all the visual, audio, and tactile stimuli of our busy world and giving us feedback through the voice our feelings. Logic and emotion—the constant balance between head and heart. But while our minds and bodies are "doing", our Spirits are just "being". In fact, our Spiritual energy is working with the power of our intentions—consciously and subconsciously—and the voice of Spirit is always coming from a place that knows what we really want, versus what our minds and bodies think we want. I equate intuition as a "gut feeling", or sensation in the pit of my stomach.

Since Spirit is the eternal part of our tri-part being, the quiet voice of our Spirit gives us little nudges and hints throughout the day. This nudge may come to us as, “I should hold this door open for that person,” or “I can spare some change for the woman ahead of me in line.” Sometimes it's even just a smile to a passing stranger. Spirit never asks from us more than we can give at a given moment. Spirit knows us and our boundaries. In fact, our Spirit lets us exercise our healthy boundaries and create new ones, while our Mind may have us thinking in old patterns or behavior and repeating the same mistakes. Been there, done that!

By paying attention to those little nudges throughout the day, you can get closer to hearing your natural intuition. In fact, if you get quiet and really listen, you will start to hear the calm rhythm within. And once you start accessing the energy of your Spirit, you can bring your thoughts and feelings into better alignment with intuition, and activate that knowledge to create better balance in your life—awareness, alignment, activation: the balance formula is complete.

How can you be quiet and listen to the intuitive voice within you this week?

To Your Better Balance!

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Need some inspiration? Pick up a copy of 21 Days, Steps & Keys, or one of the other books in the balance series, and start off 2015 by finding better balance in your career, relationships, and life. You can also tune into Michael's recent radio interview with Sharvette Mitchell at: bit.ly/15H2MRK (Michael starts after 31:00).

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg is an educator, best-selling author, and certified life coach. His passion is to help people reclaim their power of choice and find better balance in their work, relationships, and life. You can follow Michael on Facebook and Twitter, or find out more at michaelsunnarborg.com 

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Our Chronic Thoughts

Thoughts are extremely powerful. In fact, our thoughts create our reality as we experience it. Much like a captain navigating the sea, our thoughts command the wheel of our ship and point us toward a destination.

I asked one of my coaching clients last week about a potential employment opportunity to which he replied, “I can't do that. I've never done that before." As we continued, I could see a pattern unfolding. His perspectives about everything in his life—his career, relationships, choices and experiences—were coming from a place of lack. He felt that his life was filled with so many things he didn't want. It was just never enough.

My next question was, “So what do you want?” To which he had a difficult time responding. Since he’d been so focused on what he didn’t want for so long, he couldn’t clarify what he wanted. He’d lost his focus. Everything he was experiencing in his life was a direct result of his chronic thought patterns.

Each of us have an emotional default setting that was formed at an early age—usually during our impressionable childhood years—by the environment and the people around us. In turn, this default became the foundation for a set of matching beliefs and the chronic patterns of thought associated with those beliefs. This is helpful if our patterns of thought are positive; but can be very challenging if they're negative. Negative belief systems create what are called limiting beliefs.

Limiting beliefs can be recognized by statements such as:

• "I have no choice."
• "Life is a struggle."
• "I made my decision and now I need to stick with it."
• "Things never go my way."
• "I always seem to mess things up—that’s just my nature."
• "Other people always seem so much happier than me."
• "This is just the cruel hand life’s dealt to me."

They may also take the form of questions:

• "How come I never get what I really want?"
• "Why is life so difficult?"
• "What is wrong with me?"
• "Why do bad things always happen to me?"
• "How come everyone else is succeeding while I’m failing?"
• "How can I possibly be a good friend/mother/brother/coworker when I can’t even be good to myself?"

Each of those statements and questions come from limiting beliefs. What they don't consider is often they've been created by simple observations (i.e., one experience or one observation), or have been passed down to us by others and we've chosen to believe them with limited firsthand experience.

There is another perspective that brings hope, clarity, and relief: it’s called reframing.

Reframing is the practice of recognizing that how we respond to something is just as important (and sometimes more important) than the actual event. We can choose our attitude just as easily as we choose our clothing!

Reframing includes developing a higher tolerance for ambiguity and being willing to take a new perspective without have the proof to back it up. Reframing requires trust and facilitates hope. Reframing always gives us options, especially regarding limiting beliefs:

• "I have no choice," becomes,
• "I always have choices, even if it's only my attitude."
• "Life is a struggle," becomes, 
• "Life can be challenging, but it's helping me grow."
• "I made my decision and now I have to stick with it," becomes,
• "I realize that things change, and I can always choose again." 

Can you see how this works?

This week, make the conscious choice to become aware of your limiting beliefs (catch yourself when you think or say them!) and practice reframing your perspective. You may quickly notice your energy shifting and your mood improving. Eventually, your limiting beliefs can become unlimited beliefs and you'll start navigating your ship towards new destinations. Think: The Bahamas instead of the cold Atlantic!

To Your Better Balance

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Need some inspiration? Pick up a copy of 21 Days, Steps & Keys, or one of the other books in the balance series, and start off 2015 by finding better balance in your career, relationships, and life. You can also tune into Michael's recent radio interview with Sharvette Mitchell at: bit.ly/15H2MRK (Michael starts after 31:00).

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg is an educator, best-selling author, and certified life coach. His passion is to help people reclaim their power of choice and find better balance in their work, relationships, and life. You can follow Michael on Facebook and Twitter, or find out more at michaelsunnarborg.com

Image courtesy of discovery-zone.com

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Know Thyself

 

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
William Shakespeare

It was apparent at an early age that I was gifted with an abundance of energy, naturally extroverted, and happiest around people. It wasn’t until after college, when I moved to Hawaii, that I started exploring my true expanded self. I found balance for my exuberance by connecting with the quiet spirit within—a deeply curious side of me that was hungry for more meaning. As time went by, I realized that my life was a direct reflection of the people, places and relationships I'd developed along my path—and they all stemmed from the relationship I'd developed with myself.

To truly "know thyself" is to learn how to love and accept yourself as you are—even with the attributes you strive to improve. Being in a healthy relationship with yourself starts with the awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and intuition, and then using that knowledge to make healthy decisions that are in alignment with what you truly want.

So if our relationships are reflections of our own love and acceptance, how do we improve them? We improve the relationship with ourselves first. Try this simple test: This week, make a list of the most important people in your life, and then answer the following questions:

• How do those who love me see me differently?
• What feels true? What feels false or inauthentic?
• Where could I be more transparent with those I love and respect, and how might this change our relationship?
• What is this relationship saying about me and my choices? Is it helping me grow?

Write down your observations and ponder them throughout the week. You might find that there are parts of you that nobody even knows! You might also find that you're not living in your integrity. Think about what is really true for you, and what truly brings you happiness. You may be surprised.

When we take the time to really know ourselves—our strengths, joys, limitations, and fears—we can present ourselves to others with truth and transparency. And this significantly changes our relationships... and life.

To Your Better Balance!
Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit 21daystobetterbalance.com and learn more.

Ups & Downs Are Natural

 

Some days are just better than others. There are days we feel energized and happy, and other days we may feel low energy and more sublime. I couldn't expect myself to be blissfully happy every day, but I used to think that when I felt down or under the weather there was something wrong with me. I was under the impression that I needed feel good all the time, and it felt like that expectation created a lot of pressure in my life.

Then I started paying attention to those times where I didn't feel so great and noticed that each time I came out of a lull, I had a clearer vision and new zest for life that I didn't have before. Having those occasional "down days" serves a purpose (and here's a way to turn your ups & downs to horizontal rather than vertical).

The lulls of life are very important times: they are a time of reflection, gathering information, comparing and contrasting thoughts and feelings, and time for refreshing our perspective. Think of it like sleeping. When you sleep, your body restores and heals itself. When you wake, you usually feel refreshed and renewed. Ever had a problem, decided to "sleep on it", and felt better about it the next day? It's the same with the ups and downs of life. On those down days, we experience contrast, and from that contrast we create another new creation—often, as simple as the desire to feel better.
 
So embrace the down times. Embrace your outages. Embrace the days you don't feel so great, for it is in those days you are internally realigning yourself with what you really want. And when you start moving yourself back into alignment, better balance is near.

Life isn't about being perfect; life is about being present. Be present with all of your thoughts and feelings, for every aspect of you is important. And when you allow yourself to flow in and out of all your emotions, you will experience feelings of relief.

To Your Better Balance!

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit 21daystobetterbalance.com and learn more.
  

The Power of Focus

The shorter way to do many things
is to do only one thing at a time.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Last week I was driving in a (what I hope is our last) snowstorm. As I barreled through the windy whiteness, my complete attention was on maintaining my course and staying on the road. Several cars along the way had already slipped off the icy road and into the ditch, but I'd decided that wasn't going to be my fate—not today. I needed to stay focused, and that is what got me home.

In our busy world, we may often find it challenging to focus our attention. Since our minds have difficulty concentrating on more than one thing at a time, prioritizing what we focus on becomes increasingly important. Focus involves concentration, which comes when we have fewer distractions. We have the ability to limit our distractions by using our power of choice.

Focus is like RAM (random access memory) in a computer. The more programs that are running simultaneously, the less efficiently RAM operates. Eventually the computer’s performance becomes sluggish, or in a worst-case scenario, it crashes. Similarly, the more ideas, tasks, and responsibilities we are thinking about, the less capacity we have to stay focused. Our brain can also overload and, like the computer, “crash.”

So to help maintain our focus, we can simplify our distractions. Just like closing computer programs, we can reduce clutter by prioritizing our activities, choosing how and with whom we spend our time and energy, and by expressing our thoughts and feelings through speaking or writing. Activities such as journaling, making lists, and jotting notes throughout the day are great ways to make more space for new thoughts, increasing our creative capacity and helping us to maintain our focus.

This week, practice focus. Simplify your activities and reduce your distractions. And when you are performing a task or speaking with a friend or colleague, give them your full attention. See how learning to maintain your focus will have a powerful effect on your sense of balance. It's your choice.

To Better Balance!

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit 21daystobetterbalance.com and learn more.

Key 4: Frequency

 

Awareness of your frequency and the frequencies of others
moves you to monitor and adjust frequency as needed.

Holly is naturally social, wittily clever, and charming. In her last job, she had been on a team of like-minded project managers, and they had all grown accustomed to joking around with each other throughout the work day. Holly had recently moved to a new city and accepted a job as a project manager with a new company. During her first week, she realized that most members of her new project team—especially her team leader—were very serious and professional in their interactions.

At first, Holly was disappointed. With her new team presenting such a contrasting vibe, she felt like she couldn't be herself. Then Holly realized that by gently adjusting her frequency, could learn to mesh with this new team. She started watching her words more carefully and became more conscious of her professionalism in the office. It felt strange at first, but after she got over her disappointment, it wasn't so bad. After her second week, several of Holly's teammates invited her to a happy hour. It was there she could relax and be more fun and playful with them, finding the right balance for her natural energy.

This week, pay attention to the frequencies around you. What does it feel like when someone’s frequency is similar to yours? What happens when someone’s frequency is not like yours? How do you adjust to people’s different frequencies? Write an example in your journal this week about how the frequency of someone else played an important role in contributing your sense of balance or lack of balance.

To your best balanced life! 

The Ambassador of Goodwill

This is an except from 21 Keys to Work/Life Balance. Find the rest of the message for this key and other keys for finding better work/life balance at: 21keystoworklifebalance.com

It's Called T-mail

"I'm so glad you called. You must have gotten my t-mail."

"T-mail?" Shawn asked, "What's that?"

My best friend, Shawn, and I had just been chatting about when someone is on your mind how they often show up in your life soon afterward--they call you, text you, email you, or you run into them in public--somehow they just appear. How many times have you told someone, "I was just thinking of you!" It happens to me all the time. 

The energetic Universe is larger and more complex than we can possibly imagine, and although there are many things we cannot "prove" scientifically, we can still experience them. If you know about personal frequencies and how each of us is an energy source emitting vibrations--much like radio stations--you will understand that thinking of someone sends out an energetic signal. This signal, in turn, can be received and interpreted as either a thought, image, or response. Sort of like when we say our nose itches or our ears are burning, we have the potential to equate an energetic response as a vibrational feeling when someone is thinking of us. Perhaps this may be an urban legend or old wive's tale, but interesting nonetheless. Plus, it's kind of fun. And why not have fun with the unexplained?!

So the idea of "t"-mail is simply "thought" mail--a fun way to describe the feeling of a message sent and received to one another through our thoughts.

Whether it's sending and receiving t-mail, or simply focusing our thoughts to create a positive experience, our thoughts are major contributors to our life experiences. And if we remember that our thoughts form the basis for our attitudes, actions, and words, whatever we pay attention to will expand. So be sure and choose wisely which thoughts you focus on throughout your day.

Learn more about your thoughts, personal frequency, and the frequencies of others in 21 Days to Better Balance--and how becoming aware of your thoughts can help you find better balance in your mind, body, and spirit.

Have you checked your t-mail today? :o)

Namaste,

The Ambassador

5 Relationship Myths

Relationships are an essential part of our lives. Through our relationships we learn to heal, grow, and find the reflections of our best selves in those around us. But there are also some common beliefs about relationships that get us hung up, so let's take a moment to explore a few of the biggest myths about relationships. My hope is that you will see your relationships in a new light and remember that you are, indeed, creating your life experience.

1. There is only one person for you—one love.

If this was true then you would still be with your second grade crush! This is one of the greatest myths and the one that causes so many relationships to turn bitter, ugly and sour, or in the worst case scenario keeps people together when they are miserable. 

In reality, we don’t only get “one” person, we choose the person to be with in our life when that relationship is the most loving, fulfilling, and purposeful. Life is in constant motion, and since life is constantly changing, we also change. In relationships we change individually and we also can change together—in so, we make a choice. We can continue to choose the same person over and over again, but we are not obligated to stay in any relationship that’s not adding to our growth. Healthy relationships are always based in freedom, not obligation. If your relationship is starting to crack, look at where you need to be more flexible, loving, and understanding. Communication is the key here. Listen to one another, ask for what you need, be respectful, and always keep both of your best interests in mind. Relationships are, indeed, a two-way street!

2. "I’ve had a tough life, and a relationship will help heal my wounds."

Good luck with that! While it is true that our relationships will bring up everything in our life that is unhealed or broken about us (emotionally or spiritually), you do not want to use your relationship/partner to heal you—that is something you need to do for yourself. If you rely on your partner to fix you, you’ve not taken responsibility for yourself and when our happiness relies on someone else we cannot ever be truly happy. Happiness begins within.

3. Being in a relationship is better than being alone.

Not if it’s a bad relationship! Remember: relationships are vehicles for us to connect with another like mind and spirit in order to understand more about ourselves—to explore our potential for more love. If you are using a relationship to mask loneliness (which is based in fear, not love) your relationship may allow you to temporarily forget your loneliness, but loneliness will still be there. Being in relationship with yourself and happy with yourself reduces loneliness. Also, by staying involved in a relationship that's not helping you grow you cannot attract a healthy relationship—you already have that vacancy filled. Only when you have created the space for something healthy can it step into your life.

4. In relationships, opposites attract.

Opposite personalities may attract at first, but they rarely sustain. Having a range of different qualities and interests can certainly be appealing, especially when first meeting someone, but in the long run you will need to find more common ground on which to walk together. Use your differences to teach one another more about aspects of yourself you have yet to explore, and use your relationship to mutually help each other grow. Focus on your differences as strengths, and whether you agree or not always be respectful.

5. "I’ve tried being in relationships, but I always seem to mess things up."

We will get what we intend. When looking at past relationships, examine why you went into the relationship in the first place. To fill a void in your life? Take the place of something you didn't have? Find someone to take care of? 

Entering a relationship out of "lack" will just bring more of it. Develop a relationship with yourself before going into a relationship with another. If you're already in a relationship and need to find more balance, take time out for yourself—find peace with yourself, your past, and your decisions. If you believe that you will “mess up” a relationship, your beliefs will automatically program your attitudes, actions and words into sabotage mode and, in time, the relationship will, indeed, fail—it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Set your course for success! Believe that you deserve and will have positive, loving relationships.

As we enter into this fall—this time of transition—choose to create healthy and happy relationships in your life. After all, it's your choice.

Namaste,

The Ambassador of Goodwill