Simplify Your Life

Many people are looking for better balance and happiness in life. Through my writing and coaching, I help guide people towards those goals by providing them with options. One of my favorite lines of questioning includes challenging the complexity of people's lives.

Some questions include: What things are you currently experiencing in your life that you no longer want? How are complex or difficult relationships helping or hurting you? In what ways can you simplify areas of your life to bring you more peace and happiness?

Here are tips in three areas of your life to help get you started down the road to simplicity:

Simply Your Choices

• Just because you can doesn't mean you should. To optimize your power of choice, pay careful attention to the results of your choices. Make your choices and notice the consequences. Be willing to try something new. And remember you can always choose again. Sounds simple, but not always easy.
• Like a good parent or teacher, give yourself options. For example, I choose from three different health-related activities each day: swim, gym or nap. I need to choose one activity each day, but I don't have rules about which activity or how often I can choose it. I give myself the choice and allow myself to go with whatever I'm feeling that day—no judgments.
• Help out your health. Keep a supply of healthy food choices stocked in your cupboard, refrigerator, and desk drawer at work. Avoid running low on healthy snacks or you might be tempted to binge on something you don't really need. Save the treats for special occasions!

Simplify Your Relationships

• Take inventory of your current relationships. Which people are adding to your life? Which people are taking too much of your time and energy? Who is really supporting you, or who is waiting for you to do something for them? Think carefully. Choose which relationships to nurture accordingly.
• Invest more in the most important people. I know this sounds obvious, but there is a tremendous power in incremental investments. Think of your most cherished relationships like a savings account. Adding a small deposit each week equates to large payoffs down the road.
• Rise to meet conflict by softening your stance. Think about the outcome (what you really want out of a situation), and stay focused on the goal while you approach it with curiosity instead of coercion. Better resolution comes through collaboration rather than collision. Seek to win-win!

Simplify Your Outlook

• I'm not speaking about your Outlook email account (although that could be another blog!), but rather Simplify your outlook on life. When you see that all of your choices—and ultimately your experiences—stem from your own unique perspective, you can learn to accept that your perception does, indeed, create your reality.
• Develop a higher tolerance for ambiguity. There are so many unknowns and variables in our world. Developing a higher tolerance for ambiguity means learning to be more at ease with "not knowing". In other words, by allowing yourself to learn from the momentum of your experience, you don't need to figure everything out right away. Be patient. Watch. See what happens.
• Learn to accept all things and people as they are. Right now. In all ways. Simple? Yes. Easy to do? Not so much. When you start to allow the things and people in your environment to exist without judging them (if they are "right or wrong"), then you are in harmony with nature. Pay attention to your own path and allow others to keep theirs. We are only responsible for our own journey, not the journey for anyone else.

My hope is that by making a few small changes here and there, you will notice how simplifying your life in subtle ways can have a profound on your feelings of balance and equilibrium. Besides, balance is already within you, so let it shine.

To Your Better Balance!

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Need a bit more motivation? Pick up a copy of 21 Days to Better Balance, or one of the other books in the balance series, and start off 2015 by finding better balance in your career, relationships, and life. You can also tune into Michael's recent radio interview with Sharvette Mitchell at: bit.ly/15H2MRK (Michael starts after 31:00).

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg is an educator, best-selling author, and certified life coach. His passion is to help people reclaim their power of choice and find better balance in their work, relationships, and life. You can follow Michael on Facebook and Twitter, or find out more at michaelsunnarborg.com

Healthy Holidays!

 

Speaking from someone who loves to celebrate, this time of year can be most exciting. The holiday season gives us opportunities to be thankful, giving, and ring in another new year. With all of these reasons to act in exceptional ways, this time of year can also cause many of us to lose our sense of equilibrium. Stress, expectations, and "waiting until the last minute" to get something done can push us out of alignment and affect our natural sense of balance.

As the holiday season is moving into full swing, here are some quick tips to help us maintain better balance in our mind, body and spirit while we celebrate this exciting time of year:

• Get plenty of rest. The holidays always include extra activities and will take more energy than usual, so getting adequate amounts of rest will let us join in the fun!
• Drink lots of water and other fluids (including hot teas). This will keep us properly hydrated and less prone to holiday germs.
• Eat healthy foods high in vitamins and minerals. Most of us will eat some holiday treats (candy, chocolate, etc.), but be sure to keep it balanced with healthy portions of proteins, fruits and vegetables. Too much sugar will spike our energy and can cause headaches and fatigue.
• Help stop the spread of holiday colds and illness. By covering our mouths when we sneeze or cough, and washing our hands often we lessen the spread of germs. Carry extra tissues with you if your nose is runny or throat lozenges if you have a cough.
• Get plenty of exercise. Even a short walk in the mornings or evenings will help keep our blood moving. Exercise and stretching helps improve circulation and promotes faster healing!
• Take time to spend with people. Visiting with our family and friends during our holiday time off and taking the time to reconnect with those we love strengthens our relationships, boosts our immune system and reconnects us back to ourselves.
• Unplug a little! Take time off from the busy hustle and bustle: Turn off the ringer on your phone and let calls go to voice mail; take a few days off from Facebook & Twitter—the world won't end without your updated status; don't read email for a couple days; turn off the TV and pop in a classic holiday movie—unplug from the world and plug back into a good book, the people, the music, and the nature around you. It's all there waiting for your attention!  

May this holiday season allow you time to relax, refresh and "recharge" your batteries, and provide you with the opportunity to connect to the natural balance within you.

Namaste,

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Bring in the new year by returning to better balance. Need a bit of motivation? Pick up a copy of 21DaystoBetterBalance or another book in the series, and start finding better balance with yourself, your relationships, or your career in 2014!

21 Keys... Has Arrived!

21 Keys to Work/Life Balance has arrived!

"A true balance between work and life comes with knowing
that your life activities are integrated, not separated." 

Find links at 21keystoworklifebalance.com

One Bite

A recent study from Cox Media Group found that 89 percent of Americans view their work and life balance as a significant problem. Whether it's due to the expansion of technology or the plethora of choices that we face each day, our ability to filter information and stay focused is a constant challenge. The speed of our world is accelerating at an exponential rate and it doesn't appear that it will slow down any time soon. It's no wonder that it becomes more and more difficult to balance priorities between family, friends, and personal obligations while supporting our careers!

You have the potential to make healthy choices and balance your priorities no matter where you are on your life journey. However, change doesn't come easily—it takes courage, dedication, and commitment. Lasting change comes in small steps. Each step evolves into a new habit, and over time, healthy habits become major life changes. By seeking to understand yourself better, learning to focus your energy, and practicing new healthy habits, you can find a better balance of your work and life.

This week, write down one thing you’d like to stop doing and one thing you’d like to start doing to help bring better balance between your work and home life. For example, I will stop checking my email every ten minutes, and, I will start taking a 30-minute walk each day. Put this list where you can see it—on your laptop, iPad, desktop, or sticky note in your car—and make a commitment to changing only those two things this week.
 
Embrace change like enjoying your favorite food—one bite at a time.

The Ambassador of Goodwill

Look for the 21 Keys to Work/Life Balance book launch May 15, 2013 at Amazon.com and 21keystoworklifebalance.com
 

Key 1: The Balance Myth

The following is an excerpt from Chapter 1 of 21 Keys to Work/Life Balance.

Is there really such a thing as work/life balance? Many say it's a myth. Balance implies harmony or equilibrium among opposing elements. Imagine what this looks like on a scale—work and life are not only separated, but at opposite ends of the spectrum. In this way, the idea of “work/life balance” supports the idea that work and life are separated. This myth of separation is supported by our environments. Since most people leave their home to go to work each day, the differences between work and home environments shift our energy and force us to refocus.

Now consider a different picture. Visualize your life as a circle with work as one of many different circles contained within it. All of our thoughts, feelings, and actions are constantly flowing in and out of these circles—now work and life are not opposing elements but rather work is one element in a much larger “life.” Work is a part of life. The two elements are integrated. The answer to finding better work/life balance is to find the right blend between all our life activities—regardless of where and when they occur.

A true balance between work and life
comes with knowing that your life
activities are integrated, not separated.

 

 

Look for 21 Keys to Work/Life Balance coming May 15, 2013!

 

Namaste,

 

The Ambassador of Goodwill

  

Our Mind: Teacher, Creature, or Companion?

"It's mind over matter." "Do you mind?" "Make up your mind!" "Oh, never mind..." Just think about how frequently the "mind" enters our daily conversations. Our minds are an integral part of our three-part being: Mind, Body and Spirit. We often associate mind with our head, thought, and logic. But despite the form in which we imagine our minds to take, let's take a closer look at a few of the different roles our minds play. Do you mind...?

Our mind is an amazing and complex Teacher. It re-minds us when we’ve forgotten facts or figures and helps us through a challenging intellectual conundrum—whether it’s an academic test or the birthday of a family member. Our mind as a teacher causes us to think carefully when we need to make a decision, and uses our previous experiences as a references in order to make what we consider "sound" decisions. It keeps a record of everything we’ve ever thought, said, and done, giving us the gift of contrast (“been there; done that”). It sends us signals that something might be awry and we need to pay attention to it. It is the reflective and supportive adviser—helping us weigh the pros and cons from changing our internet service provider to changing our views about the importance of diet and exercise. Our mind as a teacher is with us every day, every hour, every minute, and doesn’t like to be shut off. But once in a while it will allow us to be out of it—maybe for a minute, an hour, or a day—and then when we reunite it feels like "plugging in" and booting-up to the world again. No bad; just predictable. 

Our mind is an amazing and complex Creature. It creeps around and waits for the opportunity to jump out and scare us, or sneak over and steal the cookie off our plate when we’re not looking. Our mind as a creature walks around with a mirror and tries to make us look into it so it can tease and ridicule us about our appearance, our attitudes, or our behaviors. It is the constant critic carrying around a big fat history book of every mistake we’ve ever made, said, and done—and it takes our ideas, words, and actions, twists them, misinterprets them, and uses them against us like a court of law where we are guilty until proven innocent. It has a pocket voice recorder and plays back every negative word that every person has said to us that stick like those little thorn bristles we get on our socks when we run through a dry field (damn things are always hard to pull off and they poke you—ouch!) Our mind as a creature keeps us up at night, wakes us up with a headache in the morning, and won’t stop running. And we’re tired of chasing it. Sometimes we’d rather be without it. It controls our manners when we’ve been scolded and is told to "never mind” when something has been disregarded. It makes us feel crazy and out of control. It causes us to spiral downward. It can bring us down to circling the drain.

Our mind is an amazing and complex Companion. It is there when we need to remember where we parked the car in the parking lot or re-minds us who we really are when we forget. It’s there to provide a history of everything we’ve ever thought, said, and done, and re-minds us about our progress and how far we’ve come. Our mind as a companion plays back the recordings of anyone who’s ever thanked us, praised us, or shouted our name as we raced toward the finish line. It allows us to take a moment to pause and reflect upon a fond memory triggered by a beautiful song or the smell of fresh-baked cookies. It’s there to help us stay calm amidst a crisis or speak a kind word to a friend in need. It is our constant friend, confidant, and partner. And it always answers when we call. Our mind as a companion is there to motivate, encourage, and inspire us, and becomes the coach encouraging us to "hang in there" and just keep swimming. It reminds us that it’s okay to make mistakes, and it forgives us every time—no exception. It loves and accepts us as we are. It is our best friend and our family. It holds us when we are alone and reminds us that everything will be okay.

Question: Is your mind the Teacher, Creature, or Companion today? Depending on the situation it could be one, two, or all three... but the most important fact is that it’s your choice. We are not a product of our minds; our minds are a creation of us. And we have been given the power to choose how our minds work for and with us. When our minds are working for us in positive and supportive ways, we better connect with our bodies and spirits to bring more alignment and consistency to our lives—and that’s the key to finding more balance. Reconnect with yourself and reconnect with your power.

This week, become aware of your thoughts and remember you have the power of choice. Then choose wisely… for it is, truly, “all in your mind”.

Namaste,

The Ambassador of Goodwill

Accepting Your Decisions

Until a few years ago, I would often feel disappointed when a decision I’d made produced an outcome I hadn't planned. I felt I'd made a "wrong" decision and I would focus on how I should have chosen differently. This was until I realized every decision that I make is, indeed, always the “right” decision at the time—it all depends on my perspective.

So how can that be possible? Because life is a process of growing, learning, and making new choices, and making mistakes is an essential part of that process.

The basis for this belief is respecting ourselves. Whether we make (what we consider) good decisions or not, we need to respect and support ourselves—believing that we’re making the best choice with the information we have at the moment. If, later down the line we realize we didn’t make the best choice (i.e., the outcome of our decision did not turn out favorably), we have the opportunity to learn how to accept the outcome as a learning experience.

Love and accept yourself as you are—but also love and accept yourself as you were… even if who you were caused you disappointment. You cannot know what the future holds; you can only choose what feels best in each moment with the information you've been given. After the decision has been made you can choose to be disappointed by the results or you can accept them and treat them as life lessons—a necessary part of your journey. For without decisions with “less than desirable consequences”, how would we have the opportunity to know what not to do?

The next time you are faced with the unexpected outcome of a decision think about what you choose to believe—think about your perspective: Crisis or catharsis? Obstacle or opportunity? Instead of blaming yourself for the decision, think again—accept your decision and the undesired consequences as signals to learn from your choices and find the “lesson in the learning”. This is a perfect time to love and accept yourself and your decisions as necessary steps on the road of creating yourself and your experience. Besides, once you learn to accept yourself you will have the capacity to accept others—and that always brings us better balance in our lives.
 

To Your Better Balance!

The Ambassador of Goodwill

Remember to download the *FREE* e-book of 21 Days to Better Balance until August 21st at http://bit.ly/n0bnkO