Soften Your Stance

Excerpt from 21 Steps to Better Relationships, Step 19: Soften Your Stance

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex,
and more violent. It takes a touch of genius—and a lot
 of courage—to move in the opposite direction.
Albert Einstein

We are all gifted with powerful thoughts, feelings, and intuition. Taking time to listen to our intuition and choose responses to our thoughts and feelings wisely will increase our chances of experiencing harmonious interactions. To soften your stance is to step back from your natural impulse to speak or act with power and force and either choose a gentler response or none at all. Sometimes nothing is the best thing to say and often the best thing to do.

When we soften our stance, we become aware of the impact we have on those around us and learn to respond in appropriate and effective ways. Even when we are very passionate about something—which can create more intensity and enthusiasm—we can consciously choose to pause, breathe, and think before speaking or acting. By calming ourselves and resting in our perspective, we can choose how to respond to our thoughts and feelings with calm confidence.

Our interactions with others provide the best opportunities for us to learn about ourselves. Through observation and feedback, we can learn how to soften our stance and pay attention to our approach. We can learn to discern between impulse and intuition, see the bigger picture, and consider our options before our actions.

Soften your stance to give yourself and others more room to connect fully.

Heidi is a well-respected and powerful senior manager of a Fortune 500 corporation. She has risen to the top of every team she’s managed and is known to speak her mind when action is needed. Since she is a natural problem solver, people come to Heidi for solutions. Over the years, however, Heidi began to feel overwhelmed, and her relationships with co-workers and supervisors became difficult and stressed.

When Heidi learned she could soften her stance, she had a personal epiphany. Her natural inclination was to be vocal and outspoken, but she realized that she didn’t always need to share her thinking. Heidi realized she could pick and choose where and when to focus her energy. When she committed to not doing and saying her first impulse, others around her were able to step up. Within a month, Heidi's blood pressure went down, her happiness went up, and her relationships improved. Heidi discovered a new type of personal power.

Questions:

·       In which areas of your relationships could you benefit from learning to soften your stance?

·       In what ways might softening your stance change your connections with others?

Call to Action: Get More Flies With Honey

Tired of pushing your pitch? Remember that we learn the most by sharing ideas through collaboration rather than collision. This week, pay attention to the next time you’re asked to take action or you’re trying to get your point across. Pause, think, and try softening your stance. Notice how it shifts your energy and the energy between you and others.

Find links to the books and eBooks of "21 Steps to Better Relationships" beginning August 15, 2012, at 21stepstorelationships.com

Namaste,

The Ambassador of Goodwill