Moving Into Alignment

 If you are attuned to your inner guidance,
there is no way you can become severely out
of balance with your natural environment.
Shakti Gawain

Have you noticed know how some days just feel better than others? How about how some people seem to emit better "vibes" than others? Our feelings are feeding us information, and feelings of balance can be most easily experienced through our feelings of alignment. After exploring Awareness, Alignment is the second part of finding better balance in your life.

Alignment happens both on the inside and outside of us. Alignment means that our thoughts, beliefs, and intentions are aligned with our deepest truth and best understanding of our purpose in the world. Internally, this means that we strive to be conscious of our thoughts, feelings, and intuition so that our behaviors reflect our true values. Externally, this means that over time, we bring our attitudes, actions, and words closer and closer to our fundamental beliefs. Alignment also comes through our relationships with others. As we move in and out of alignment with our deepest selves, our relationships directly reflect our present state of balance—relationships are mirrors.

This week, think about someone in your life who challenges you—a friend, family member, co-worker, boss—someone who is driving you crazy, or someone with whom you just don’t get along. Now put that person in your mind’s eye, and begin to think of something—anything—that you genuinely appreciate about them. Even if it takes a while, come up with a list of at least three things. There’s buried treasure in there somewhere! Focus on those things the next time you speak with that person, and notice how this simple act of unspoken appreciation brings them into better alignment with you.

This second step of moving into alignment helped me reconnect with my natural state of balance and reminded me that whether it's my own sense of equilibrium or the alignment I feel with others, the power to change my life is always in my hands.

Namaste,

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit 21daystobetterbalance.com to learn more! 

Welcome to Awareness

 

 Let us not look back in anger, nor forward
in fear, but around in awareness. 

James Thurber

My search for better balance began while I was living in Honolulu, Hawaii, in the late 1990s. A good friend and I were making observations about how the mind, body, and spirit are connected. We discussed how our life experience reflected our state of balance—the more balanced we were, the more serenity and peace we felt.

During my years of study I found a recurring theme: Being balanced is natural. Returning to this natural state means removing the barriers to balance within us, many of them created by our own thoughts and behaviors. I knew there must be a way to break old patterns and return to a healthier balanced state. I also realized that in order to find better balance in my life I needed to first become aware of the factors that influenced my state of balance. When I started taking note of the different events, environments, and people that had the largest impact on my balance, I became empowered by the results. Sometimes the best teacher is our own experience.

This first step of Awareness started a movement within me. With this "wake up call" came a flood of new information about my patterns of thought—all of which were influencing my attitudes, actions and words. Becoming aware of these influences shifted my energy, and as a response, I began to see the world around me shifting as well.

This week I encourage you to become aware of the people, places, and experiences that have the greatest impacts on your sense of balance and happiness. Notice your feelings, follow your intuition, and pay attention to the results. Raising your awareness helps you reconnect with your natural state of balance and reminds you that the power to change your life is always in your hands.

Namaste,

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Find better balance in your life, relationships, and work. 
Visit 21daystobetterbalance.com to learn more!

Step 6: Power

Becoming aware of your power helps you
to create more balanced relationships.

John’s boss was out of touch with her power. Andrea was well-educated, socially savvy, and professionally astute, but she had fought for so many years to get to the top that she couldn’t turn off her aggressiveness. Since she wasn't aware of how to use and diffuse her power, Andrea micromanaged many of John's activities, leaving him feeling frustrated and powerless.

Finally, John learned how to regain his power in the relationship. His awareness that Andrea was out of touch with her power gave him the ability to work smarter. Even though he didn't agree with all of Andrea's ideas, he started to work with her out of compassion instead of against her out of anger. John found that if he didn't push against Andrea, he could gradually introduce ideas that would complement rather than challenge her. Over time, they were both able to achieve the results they wanted and John no longer felt overpowered.

This week, think of people in your life who are very powerful. What makes them appear powerful? Now think of people you’d consider power hungry or out of touch with their power. What makes them seem that way? Spend a week noticing how you and the people around you use power. How does power affect your relationships with others every day?

To your best balanced life!

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

This is an except from 21 Steps to Better Relationships. Find the rest of the message and other steps at: 21stepstorelationships.com

Step 2: Communication

 
Awareness of effective communication is
vital for creating healthy relationships.

Donna and Kevin have been married for a year. The last time Kevin went out for a few beers with his friends, Donna blew up at him when he got home and angrily said that he’s happy to go out with his friends, but he won’t go out with her.

One evening last week, Kevin told Donna he needed to stay and work late. In reality, Kevin lied. Instead of working late, he was out with his friends again. Donna found out and was furious.

When Donna and Kevin sat down to talk about it, Kevin said that he was afraid to tell her that his time with friends is still very important to him. Donna said that she’s happy that he is close to his friends, but that she thinks his time with his friends is cutting into the time they spend together. In the end, they decided to schedule a "date night" each week so they could go out with friends or on their own. They also agreed to make sure they were socializing as much with each other as they are separately. They found a peaceful compromise by communicating openly and honestly with each other.

Pay attention to the next time your emotions are triggered during a conversation. What was said? What emotions were triggered? How can you avoid an emotional collision? Take a moment to pause, acknowledge your feelings, and think carefully about how to respond. Ask questions for clarification and be willing to investigate your feelings. Notice what’s different when you come from a place of thoughtful response, and see how this changes the landscape of the conversation.

To your best balanced life!

The Ambassador of Goodwill

This is an except from 21 Steps to Better Relationships. Find the rest of the message for this step and other steps at: 21stepstorelationships.com

Step 20: Go With the Flow

 

 Choosing to change allows you
to accept the world outside of you.

Doug was laid off from a company where he'd been working for over ten years. Although the news was a shock to him, his first thought was how he was going to tell his fiancé. Doug and Amy had been saving their money for the past two years so they could get married. But now he wasn't sure of anything. He felt like the whole world had stopped. He couldn't imagine what he was going to do next.

That evening, Doug and Amy sat down to discuss the situation. While Amy listened, Doug expressed his anger and disappointment about losing his job, and his fear about what was going to happen next. Amy shared a different perspective with him. "Do you realize this is an opportunity for something new?" she said. Over the next few days Doug realized he did, indeed, have many options. He decided to take things step by step and look at this change as a positive opportunity for new direction and growth. In time, Doug was able to find a new job that he loved which paid more than his last job. He learned that change can, indeed, be something to appreciate and not to fear.

Where are you resisting change? How would it be different if you accepted it, or even encouraged or facilitated it? This week, try changing something about your routine that you have been resisting. Notice how the new relationship with yourself affects your relationships with others.

To your best balanced life!

The Ambassador of Goodwill

This is an except from 21 Keys to Work/Life Balance. Find the rest of the message for this key and other keys for finding better work/life balance at: 21keystoworklifebalance.com

Step 19: Soften Your Stance

Soften your stance to give yourself and
others more room to connect fully.

Heidi is a well-respected and powerful senior manager of a Fortune 500 corporation. She has risen to the top of every team she’s managed and is known to speak her mind when action is needed. Since she is a natural problem solver, people come to Heidi for solutions. Over the years, however, Heidi began to feel overwhelmed, and her relationships with co-workers and supervisors became difficult and stressed.

When Heidi learned she could soften her stance, she had a personal epiphany. Her natural inclination was to be vocal and outspoken, but she realized that she didn’t always need to share her thinking. Heidi realized she could pick and choose where and when to focus her energy. When she committed to not doing and saying her first impulse, others around her were able to step up. Within a month, Heidi's blood pressure went down, her happiness went up, and her relationships improved. Heidi discovered a new type of personal power. Remember that we learn the most by sharing ideas through collaboration rather than collision. 

This week, pay attention to the next time you’re asked to take action or you’re trying to get your point across. Pause, think, and try softening your stance. Notice how it shifts your energy and the energy between you and others.

To your best balanced life!

The Ambassador of Goodwill

This is an except from 21 Steps to Better Relationships. Find the rest of the message for this step and other steps for finding better balance at: 21stepstorelationships.com

Key 5: Strengths

Becoming aware of your strengths helps
you identify, develop, and share them.

Daniel enjoyed his job as field technician. Every week he was out on the road helping clients solve their technical problems. Over the years, Daniel had built a foundation of solid relationships with his clients and was continually bringing in new business. When it came time for Daniel’s boss to retire, Daniel was recommended to take his place. Daniel reluctantly accepted the position because he thought it might offer him a chance to learn new skills.

Within two weeks of starting in his new position, Daniel was feeling completely out of his element. The manager’s job was entirely different from his position as a field technician. He was in the office five days a week and his meetings were only with other executives and the people he managed. After completing a strengths assessment, Daniel discovered his biggest strength was not managing people, but interacting with customers. Daniel decided to meet with the CEO and ask for his old job back. Fortunately, another candidate was still available for the manager’s position, and Daniel went back to his old job. Daniel realized how being aware of his strengths had allowed him to be in a position that nurtured his well-being.

This week, think of something that you enjoy doing and that you do well. How often do you have the chance to do it? How can you add more of it to your work and life? For example, if you like graphic design and it’s not part of your job, perhaps you can add some graphics to your status reports, presentations, or meeting agendas? Or maybe there’s a chance for you to use your talents in a special event or project? Be willing to see how creative you can be about integrating your strengths and talents into what you already do.

To your best balanced life! 

The Ambassador of Goodwill

This is an except from 21 Keys to Work/Life Balance. Find the rest of the message for this key and other keys for finding better work/life balance at: 21keystoworklifebalance.com