The Empty Inbox

After being laid off from my full-time job two weeks ago and reluctantly enrolled in what I term The White Box Club, I found myself wading through waves of phone calls, text messages, and emails from friends and family expressing their words of wisdom, love, and support. People I didn't even know were sending messages of hope and encouragement through social media. The outpouring of support was amazing.

Then this past Friday—exactly two weeks after that shocking and unexpected event—my inbox was empty. Hardly an email, phone call, or text message. It suddenly felt like the whole event had never occurred. Until I remembered that it had.

So what just happened?

The moment I told my Mom about this unexpected condition, she recalled the time when our home was lost to a fire back in 2002. "There was such an outpouring of support for quite a while. But then there was a day when it all came to a screeching halt. Another note for the time frame, but also another twinge of the heart."

I was reminded that every life event has a process—a beginning and an end—and so do the people touched by it. When others near to us are swept into the emotional waves of a personal life event, they, too, become a part of it... for a short time. But then they return to their own lives. They come, they love, they leave.

So if other people can move on so quickly, why can’t I? How come I can’t just process the sadness and disappointment and get over it? 

Because it happened to me.

Other people process faster because empathy can only take you so far. Even when we extend support to others, we will naturally have an inherent need to nurture ourselves. And when the event happens to us, our own process will always be different from anyone else—especially since we're the ones who are most affected. And that’s okay.

As a life coach, I encourage my clients to receive—and not be afraid to ask for—support from their friends and family when facing tough times. I also teach them to rely on themselves for encouragement. Learning to becoming your own coach can serve you for the rest of your life.

Starting to reflect upon the lessons I'm learning during this layoff process is, yet again, another opportunity to me to learn how to coach myself—another chance to "drink another cup of my own coffee." Whereas the encouragement came from others during the past two weeks, it now needs to come from me. My friends and family reminded me how important my gifts are to the world, and now I need to remind myself.

If I believe that every life event has a process, then this, too, shall pass. Sometimes in the most difficult times, the glimmer of hope becomes the light at the end of the tunnel.

My challenges this week?

• To allow myself to keep processing, and be very kind to myself as I do
• Keep bringing clarity to these moments
• Acknowledge all of my thoughts, feelings, and intuitive "nudges"
• Continue to practice patience and trust the process
• Keep focusing on internal and external alignment

Throughout this process of grieving: anger, confusion, sadness, and acceptance, I will stay true to myself and my integrity. And while my hands are staying busy doing logical things (arranging finances, networking, searching for new opportunities), my heart will continue healing and my next opportunity will, indeed, come into alignment with me.

To Our Better Balance,

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg

Michael Thomas Sunnarborg is an educator, best-selling author, and certified life coach. His passion is to help people reclaim their power of choice and find better balance in their work, relationships, and life. You can follow Michael on Facebook and Twitter, or find out more at michaelsunnarborg.com

Need some inspiration? Pick up a copy of 21 Days, Steps & Keys, or one of the other books in the balance series, and start off 2015 by finding better balance in your career, relationships, and life.

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Photo courtesy of me :o)

Spirit of Gratitude

 

Thank you. Merci. Gracias. Tak. Kiitos. Mahalo. Shukriya. Danke. Grazie. Dhanyabaad. Shukran. Salamat. Just some of the many languages in which I've had the privilege of learning how to say, "Thank you". Giving thanks is an expression of gratitude, which is a critical step in the giving and receiving cycle—it completes the loop.

What is the loop, you ask? The loop is the cycle that begins and completes the flow of conscious creative energy. In other words, the act of manifesting a unique experience through the process giving and receiving. But do all our these experiences turn out to be happy and joyful? Not so much. Well, at least not a first... but therein lies the role of gratitude—it allows us to change our perspective. Many times I practice the "it could be worse" perspective which allows me to be thankful for what I already have. This can be a quick way to reframe a potentially negative situation and realize it's really "not that bad after all."

We often think of gratitude as spontaneous, but we can practice gratitude. Since thankfulness is rooted in positive feelings, feeling and expressing gratitude creates more positive energy. Being thankful generates a spirit of genuine appreciation, and feelings of goodwill always inspire more of the same.  Gratitude is like a “thank you” card—a gift back for a gift given. When we take time to show our appreciation for someone’s gift, we make an exchange of spiritual energy. Gratitude allows for this spiritual connection to occur. This exchange adds to the foundation of our relationship and strengthens the bonds of trust and respect. Expressions of gratitude are seldom forgotten.

During this Thanksgiving holiday we have the time to remember those people and the gifts of our lives we are thankful for. I also encourage you to pay attention to those opportunities and moments which disguise themselves as frustrating, aggravating or hopeless, and give thanks for the awareness these opportunities are providing you. With a gentle shift in your perspective, you, too, may be able to say "thank you" in any language—especially the language of your heart.

Happy Thanksgiving Holiday.

The Ambassador of Goodwill